Going into my last semester of college I thought I was pretty set in my ways and knew what I wanted as a teacher. I quickly realized that I still have a lot to learn about myself as a future educator. Through the last 16 weeks of my college education I've had my eyes opened to new possibilities.
After my practicum at an elementary school last semester I thought that I was more accepting of the idea of teaching younger kids, but I didn't want to do a lot of hand holding, and I was still pretty confident that high school was more for me. As we spent time at City High I saw many different kids and had different experiences with them. I saw that some students will be great and not need a lot guidance to stay on track, and others will get nothing done and spend most of the time talking over you if you let them. I don't know what really changed my mind about being dead set on teaching high school; the pettiness that was prevalent almost all of the time and I had a hard time getting over that.
Southeast was a BIG eye opener for me. I don't remember much about my middle school experience, so I never really considered middle school an option as far as teaching. I forgot how great the kids are at that age—eager and still wanting to have fun but caring enough to be respectful. Southeast really helped me see how much fun middle school could be. I've heard from so many people that middle school is such a tough age and the kids are almost impossible to handle with their raging hormones and gossipy ways. I didn't see Southeast that way, I saw kids who had fun in the art room and didn't whisper a word about a project being dumb or lame, but wanted to be there and enjoyed themselves.
I think the biggest worry for me as far as the ages go will be how to relate to each one differently. With younger kids there needs to be a lot of guidance and step by step instruction. I know that my patience sometimes gets the better of me when “showing” kids how to do things, and I end up doing it for them. I also need to find places where I won't feel like a babysitter but also don't treat them older then they are. With older kids I think my biggest struggle will be with wanting to be cool or be their friend. I have this idea of what my art teachers were like with me (which was friendly) and I can't get passed wanting to be that way with my students, too. I've had this problem before where I work, and I struggle with it all the time. I've definitely gotten better it, and I think it just takes time. It also takes a realization that my kids will be more successful if I'm not their friend, but their mentor, their teacher.
Spending so much time in the classrooms not only made me realize that I have a lot options as far as grades go, but it also made me realize that I need to work on my leadership skills. I've worked in a classroom before and never had any problems being a leader, but when I was in someone else's classroom I felt a little out of my element. I had a hard time giving instruction and encouraging the students I worked with because I was afraid of turning their projects into “my” project. I'm having a hard time with giving suggestions to the students because I'm having a conflicting idea of what is good art and what is their art. I feel like I've had this idea that art is what you make it, and it doesn't have to be called good just because someone stamps an “A” on it. I feel like if I'm offering suggestions to a student then I am asking them to change their idea, and I struggle with that. I know that not all my students can get “A”s just because they created something, so I have to get passed this idea, and I think that the best way will be through rubrics. I learned how to make a rubric according to the objectives I laid out in my lesson plans. This will help me decide if a student has met the expectations of a project, and not just made “something.”
Not only did I learn how to write objectives and lesson plans, but I learned a few cool projects as well. I really loved the alter ego project. I got so into my character, planning out who she would be and what kind of life she would live that it made me really want to develop her and bring her to life. I can really see this being a successful project that junior high and high school students get into as well. Along with the alter ego project, I really enjoyed the lesson plans that came out of “In the Making.” There were so many good ideas, that I felt a relief that I had this book to help me along and decide what could be good for students to do. I've worried about coming up with good and meaningful lessons, and now I have a whole book that will help guide me with great ideas. I also loved “From Ordinary to Extraordinary.” This book also had a lot of good lesson plan ideas and showed how they can be successful through student work. The books that I had this semester I will never sell because they were so valuable to me.
I have my apprehensions but I'm also excited that I'm so close to finally being what I've wanted to be for so long. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am right now, and I'm ready to go out there and be a teacher. My biggest worry is my timing. If I hadn't taken so long to pursue my career aspirations, I might be heading into a better time to be a teacher. I plan to take this with a grain of salt and open my options to being a substitute and getting myself familiar with schools that I like and districts that I want to be in. It will be a learning experience, but one that I am willing to go through.